Question
Dont you think its disrespectful when...?
people say someone lost the battle against cancer? It makes it sound like they didnt try hard enough. It really angres me because some times there is just no way of fighting any harder. It doesnt make them weak.
Answer
Im in remission from cancer, and Im actually with you on this one I dont think disrespectful is the right word as people dont intend any disrespect, but I dislike all the battle and fighting metaphors where cancer is concerned fighting cancer, beating cancer, brave, courageous, survivor.brbrThere is an implied criticism of those who didnt survive when people talk of courage and cancer, or of fighting cancer were they not brave enough, did they not fight hard enough to beat their cancer and .survive? I know many courageous people who have died of cancer.brbrNobody talks about beating or fighting heart disease or a stroke, this terminology is reserved for cancer. Why? Its the stereotype of the brave cancer victim, a stereotype I find patronising in the extreme. If I had chosen to have cancer in order to spare a child having that cancer, THAT would have been brave. Coping with cancer because thats what youve got isnt brave you have no choice.brbrI didnt fight my cancer, my doctors did, and they did a bloody good job, as five years on from being diagnosed with an aggressive and late stage cancer Im fit and well with no evidence of cancer at my last check up.brbrSimilarly I hate the notion that cancer patients should stay positive apart from the fact that theres no evidence that it helps, theres an implied criticism there too presumably you werent positive enough if the cancer killed you.brbrI dislike euphemisms anyway people dont lose the battle, they die.brbrThanks for this question theres not enough discussion of the language surrounding cancer and death